My project of self-love and intimate relationship with myself got to a halt for some time. I got sick and was not able to go on any dates what so ever.

A breakdown happened in all of my communications (I felt down, not in the mood and quite frankly disinterested to date at all).

The go getter as I am totally made it into achieving my goals. I have to get on a date, right!

Wrong! 15 dates in 80 days IS NOT ABOUT THE NUMBERS.

Do you get it?

Well, I finally do get it too 😉

The guy I was in touch with and who I liked a lot said that I am too far away for him to have a long distance relationship.

I snapped. I went into a protective mode and said FINE! We should then not be wasting each others time by hanging here….. and he said ok.

My plans for a date seemed even further than the furthest galaxy.

How difficult it can be to go on a date, right?

I sat on it and thought for a while. Then decided to take an action which I normally wouldn’t do.

I went back and apologised for over reacting. I even told him that this is what I do when I get scared that something is not going my way…… and expected the worst to happen.

He did not need to come back and talk to me again. He could have just ignored my apology and go on with his life.

But he didn’t. He opened up and said he is scared of how this could work for us both….

I had no answer to that. All I knew was that I wanted to keep talking with him.

I wanted to know more about his hobbies, his family, his plans……I don’t know the usual stuff.

And we kept talking. And we talked about what we want from life, what are our visions regarding family, life partners, we talked about our pasts, previous boyfriends, girlfriends all that came so easy because we were being honest with each other.

Now I do not know if we are going to meet ever or soon. All I know is that I do not want to cut off a person from my life just because they do not fit into my picture.

Just because they heave different opinions and style and dreams. And different fears than I have.

For me distance is not an issue since I’ve been there. I am traveling a lot and I am used to moving around a lot.

For someone that might be a challenge.

But we only will know if we try. Otherwise it all stays a mystery. Unresolved and imagined. Not the real deal.

And I do want the real deal.

Love you all! Andrea

PS: I’ll keep you posted on my future dates and progress of my self-love and intimacy project with myself.

andreatheisz